responsibilities

So I was searching for bridal party responsibilties online and came accross two lists that I had to combine.  The girls list is from another blog (myotherhalf ) and the guys list came from an internet search (Bride and Groom) . 

Responsibilities: Maid of Honor

You are the bride’s right-hand woman and strongest ally through the entire process. You’ll be there to support her emotionally and to help her make decisions for the big day. Your responsibilities include:

• Coordinate with other bridesmaids
• Host bridal shower with help from bridesmaids
• Plan bachelorette party with help from bridesmaids
• Keep record of gifts received at various parties and showers
• Spread the word about the couple’s registries
• Hold onto the groom’s wedding band on wedding day before they exchange vows
• Hold bride’s bouquet during the ceremony
• Arrange bride’s train at appropriate points in the ceremony
• Bustle bride’s train after the ceremony
• Sign marriage license
• Make a toast at the reception
• Collect gift envelopes and keep them in a safe place
• Purchase wedding day attire (dress, accessories, shoes)

Responsibilities: Bridesmaid

As a bridesmaid, you’re considered an important person in the bride’s life. Just like the maid of honor, the bride also looks to you for suggestions and help. A bridesmaid’s responsibilities include:

• Help the maid of honor with bridal shower
• Help the maid of honor plan the bachelorette party
• Spread the word about the couple’s registries
• Assist with DIY projects (invitations, wedding favors, etc.)
• Help direct guests to their seats
• Purchase wedding day attire (dress, accessories, shoes)

The honor of being a part of the bridal party comes with a cost. It’s not cheap to be a bridesmaid, so you’ll need to be prepared for the financial responsibilities as well. Stay tuned for next month’s “What About the ‘Maid?” as we break down the costs of being in the bridal party.

Best Man

• Plan and host the bachelor party.
• Rent or purchase wedding attire that is the same as the groom's.
• Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• Arrange for transportation to ceremony for self and groom.
• Arrange for transportation of the couple as well as self to the reception.
• Arrives with the groom at least 1 hour before the ceremony.
• Helps keep the groom calm.
• Supervises groomsmen and ushers.
• Holds bride's wedding ring if not being carried by the ring bearer.
• Escorts the Maid (Matron) of Honor during the recessional.
• Forwards payment to musicians and officiate from the groom.
• Stands to the right of the bride in the receiving line.
• Makes the first toast at the reception and reads congratulations telegrams.
• Dances when the music starts and asks other guests to dance.
• Transport newlyweds to the honeymoon suite or airport after the reception.
• Organize the return of any rented wedding attire for all men in the wedding.

Groomsmen and Ushers

• Purchase or rent wedding attire.
• Assist in planning and financing the bachelor party.
• Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• Arrive dressed at least 1 hour before the wedding.
• Fold and distribute wedding programs.
• Ensure that all family members have corsages/boutonnières before being seated.
• Seat guests as follows:
  • Single females are escorted on the right.
  • Single males should walk along the left side.
  • Escort the female of a couple on the right with her date walking behind.
  • Guests of the bride are seated on the left.
  • Guests of the groom are seated on the right.
  • Leave first few rows unseated to accommodate family members.
  • Seat the mother of the groom.
  • Seat the mother of the bride.
  • Roll out the aisle runner.
• Light candelabras, as needed.
• Escort bridesmaids during the recessional.
• Check for any items left by guests at the ceremony site.
• Collect ceremony decorative items such as baskets, pew bows, and aisle runner.
• Dance when music starts and ask other guests to dance.
• Decorate the newlywed's car.

Wedding Frustrations

So my goal is to spend less than $10,000 on my wedding and still get as many parts of my dream wedding as I want.  But because of this recession it seems that my wedding may not happen at all.  Cost is a major part of any wedding and trying to save up enough to pay for everything is driving me crazy.  Every time I work out a plan it falls apart.  If things don't start looking up soon I may have to start cutting a lot out and sacrificing my original vision. Our guest list is as small as we can make it without making people mad or offending friends and family.  Part of me is trying to stay optimistic and the other part of me is trying to get real and decide what to do about our wedding.  Should we change venues, have a smaller wedding, do we cut the guest list again and hope we don't offend family, do we ask for help paying, do we push back the wedding or do we just elope and have a traditional wedding later when we can afford it.

I'm getting really frustrated with our parents and conversations we have over the wedding.  Everyone wants us to wait yet it hurts us to be apart.  We will get the look of shame if we are living together out of wed lock and if we live together odds are we won't save much for the wedding.  Anything extra I can save now is going to be squashed when I have to start paying back student loans.  Part of what is upsetting is that I'm being told to save for my wedding, save for an apartment, and consider pushing back my wedding but I have my wedding dress hanging in my closet because it was on sale so it was purchased. (and to be honest I'm fretting that I made that decision too soon)

I honestly don't know what to do and I'm not sure how much longer I can be optimistic about the wedding.  I can only sacrifice so much of my dream and my plan before it's not even my wedding.  And if I'm not getting what I want I don't even think I'd do it.   So it seems like the choices are push back the wedding, elope/locals only wedding or not get married.  And I don't want to do any of those.  Where is the fairy god mother to make my dreams come true.  All I can say is HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dream Wedding

So while having a conversation with my fiancee I was asked if I could plan my dream wedding what would it be. So I decided to take it as a challenge to put together what would be my dream wedding from dress to location to honeymoon.    I will then compare my dream to the wedding I am actually planning.

DREAM WEDDING:
My dream wedding would be a beautiful outdoor ceremony and reception with a tent for dinner and dancing.  I would love to have a romantic yet casual style wedding with a bit of a vintage feel.  I want something that is just stunning and elegant but I want the guests to feel like they are being welcomed into my home and joining us for an intimate party in our backyard.  I want flowers everywhere and if you are in a fairy tail rose gardent.

Location:  Garden Wedding   in Napa Valley
 
Wedding Style: Romantic Casual
Wedding Colors: Emerald Green, Silver, Black and Ivory

Dream Dress: Amsale Tyler Gown or maybe something from Monique Lhuillier



A delicious cake with a red velvet layer as well as two layers of orange blossom cake with white chocolate icing and shaved almonds.   As well as a grooms cake made of devil's food with cheesecake mixture pipped into the cake batter and topped with mini Oreos,  the cake will be topped with cool whip and crushed Oreo cookies.

Flowers: gorgeous hand-tied bouquets of various types of roses in off white, ivory and cream tones as well as green and cream hydrangeas and orchids, as well as various displays of the same flowers with mixed greenery.

  



Now back to reality:

So far here is the wedding I'm planning:
A semi-formal church ceremony and cocktail bowling reception. My goal is to be as stress-free as possible.  My big ticket item (not including the reception) is going to be photography.



My lovely dress and a bouquet that I hope I can make without poking myself on the thorns.   We also hope to develop a signature cocktail.  We will also have a DIY cupcake tower with various flavors of mini cupcakes, which will be made by myself and a few of my bridesmaids.  Budget permitting I'll get the gifts that I would like for all of the members of my bridal part as well as welcome baskets for all of my guests rooms.  The colors for my wedding are the same as my dream wedding but the main details are scaled back or will have to be done DIY or possible made out of tissue paper.

Well it's been nice dreaming but I guess I should get back to the real planning so much to do and only 401 days to go.

quotes and sayings for ceremonies

Love one another and you will be happy.  It's as simple and as difficult as that.  ~Michael Leunig


My heart to you is given:
Oh, do give yours to me;
We'll lock them up together,
And throw away the key.
~Frederick Saunders


A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.  ~Mignon McLaughlin


You are now taking into your care and keeping the happiness of the one person in all the world whom you love best. You are adding to your life not only the affection of each other, but also the companionship and blessing of a deep trust as well. You are agreeing to share strength, responsibilities and to share love.


Love is always patient and kind, it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited, it is never rude or selfish, it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasures in other people's sins but delights in the truth, it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.


(Name) and (Name) nothing is easier than saying words and nothing is harder than living them day after day after day. What you promise today, must be renewed and decided again tomorrow, and tomorrow after that and the tomorrow after that.


(Name) and (Name), you are about to make promises to one another. Today, these vows are beautiful words representing even more beautiful intentions. But you will find that as you 
live these vows over the years, investing your time an d your love and your commitment to one another, the happy times of your life will be twice as joyous, because there will be someone to share those joy with. And when life gets tough, it will only be half as bad, because there will be someone by your side to help carry the burden. For those times when life presents all of us with challenges, I would like to offer you the serenity prayer to remember: God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.


I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,


A church filled with family and friends.


I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,


He said one that would make me his wife.


~Author Unknown


On our wedding day a new life has its start
We'll share in each other 
one love, one dream, one heart

From Graces by June Cotner

"May your love be firm,
and may your dream of life together
be a river between two shores --
by day bathed in sunlight, and by night
illuminated from within. May the heron
carry news of you to the heavens, and the salmon bring
the sea's blue grace. May your twin thoughts spiral upward
like leafy vines, like fiddle strings in the wind,
and be as noble as the Douglas fir.
May you never find yourselves back to back
without love pulling you around
into each other's arms."

From the Beyond Words Daily Readings in the ABC's of Faith

"They say they will love, comfort, honor each other to the end of their days. They say they will cherish each other and be faithful to each other always. They say they will do these things not just when they feel like it, but even -- for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health -- when they don’t feel like it at all. In other words, the vows they make could hardly be more extravagant. They give away their freedom. They take on themselves each other’s burdens. They bind their live s together... The question is, what do they get in return?

"They get each other in return... There will always be the other to talk to, to listen to... There is still someone to get through the night with, to wake into the new day beside. If they have children, they can give them, as well as each other, roots and wings. If they don’t have children, they each become the other’s child.

"They both still have their lives apart as well as a life together. They both still have their separate ways to find. But a marriage made in heaven is one where a man and a woman become more richly themselves together than the chances are either of them could ever have managed to become alone."

From The Awakened Heart

"There is a desire within each of us, in the deep center of ourselves that we call our heart. We were born with it, it is never completely satisfied, and it never dies. We are often unaware of it, but it is always awake. It is the human desire for love. Every person in this earth yearns to love, to be loved, to know love. Our true identity, our reason for being, is to be found in this desire...

...love is the 'why' of life: why we are functioning at all, what we want to be efficient for... I am convinced it [love] is the fundamental energy of the human spirit, the fuel on which we run, the wellspring of our vitality. And grace, which is the flowing, creative activity of love itself, is what makes all goodness possible.

Love should come first; it should be the beginning of and the reason for everything."

From A Year With C.S. Lewis: Daily Readings from His Classic Works

"If the old fairy-tale ending "They lived happily ever after" is taken to mean "They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married," then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be "in love" need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense -- love as distinct from "being in love" -- is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be "in love" with someone else. "Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it."

-- C. S. Lewis

A few of the funny ones:

• Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.  ~Author Unknown
• Spouse:  someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.  ~Author Unknown

Accessories!!

So recently I've looked into flower alternatives.  I've considered button boutonnieres as well as fabric or paper flowers. So far I've found the following images. What I'd really like to know is how to make them?  I've love a good DIY project that would make these seemingly traditional items a bit more special.


http://www.emersonmade.com/collections/for-the-hair-and-shoes/products/wild-rose-hair-clip


  http://blog.thebrideandgroom.com/tips-ideas/unique-wedding-ideas/cute-as-a-button-boutonnierediy-wedding-project/