dress styles..what i like so far

Dresses...How do you decide?

I've been engaged for a little over 6 months now.  I have an idea in my head about my wedding dress or at least how I want to look.   I keep going back and forth about the style of dresses the bridesmaids will wear.    And mostly I can't decide who to take with me shopping to help me decide.  I'm sure I'll end up with a fairly big entourage (I'm the youngest girl and the first to have a real wedding. ) so what I should be trying to figure out is who is coming with me and which opinions matter.  I can't please everyone, nor will I try but it will still be hard to figure out whose opinion matters most.

The questions I'm plagued by are:
  * Who do you bring dress shopping?
  * Of those you bring, how do you decide who to listen to?
  * How do you decide what type of dress you want to wear?
  * How do you choose BM dresses?
  * Does everyone wear the same dress, should the MOH have a different dress or different color dress?
  * Should you bring your MIL or someone from his family?
  * How long should you shop for a dress?
  * Can I afford to get what I want and not look cheap or like I settled for something?


I look though magazine after magazine trying to decide what I think will look good.  I fold corners on pages that have things I like, sometimes I cut the pages out of the magazine but it always seems that the dress might be out of my budget, too formal for my wedding or won't look good on me unless I wear heals.    I want a dress that reflects me and my day.  So if I find it and no one likes it do I buck their opinions and rock out the dress I want to wear.  I've always pictured myself in a long dress on my wedding day but we're thinking of having something a bit more relaxed and fun which makes me think tea length might be more appropriate.  Although I'm liking the trend of the two in one dress.  I guess I'll have to go in with an open mind and see what I can find.

quotes

The following are some quotes that I'm come across while searching wedding quotes from movies in Google.  These are some of my favorite and would find some way of incorporating them into my wedding. 

"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible"  - Harry from When Harry met Sally

"The hardest thing is loving someone and then courage to let them love you back."                        - Nick Mercer The Wedding Date

"If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?"  - Casper

"I'm beginning to think that maybe it's not just how much you love someone. Maybe what matters is who you are when you're with them." - The Accidental Tourist 

"I love him and I don't care what you think. I love him for the man he wants to be and I love him for the man he almost is."  - Jerry Maguire

"A dream is a wish your heart makes."  - Cinderella

A little something for the bachleorette party:  

"Here's to the husbands who've won you, the losers who've lost you, and the lucky bastards who've yet to meet you. " - Nick mercer "the wedding date" 

inspiration

So lately it seems like parts of my wedding have begun to fall into place.  From ceremony to reception to other services.  With these new found decisions I can further decide style of the wedding and get inspiration for the invitation as well as the save the date.

I look at various invites and found details that like but I want something that isn't cookie cutter.  There are a few different styles that I like with "love birds" and there are others with swirls and filigree type designs.  However they all remind me of something mass produced and not unique to my wedding.  I would love to have the invitation include details from my dress or represent the feel of the day but that would mean that I have to design it myself.  So I guess where I'm stuck is trying to take what I like and the details I want putting them on paper and then incorporate them into a layout that I can produce on the computer.

Using samples from sites like Exclusively Weddings, Storkie and B.T. Elements I found the wording that fits the day and layout designs that will inspire my final design.  Thankfully I have a few friends who can draw better than I can who might help me with the design.   I like the vintage look with a casual feel.  I don't want the invitation to suggest a formal event when we are shooting for a relaxed cocktail style event.

So as follows are design touches that I like.

How realistic is a $10,000 wedding?

Lately I've been wondering how realistic my budget is.  Can I really plan a wedding for $10,000 and still get what I want?  Can we afford to have friends and family come to the wedding?  I've talked to other people who are married or are in the final planing stages of their wedding who had the same idea I have, "I'm not going to spend more than $10000 on my wedding"  and they went over by 5 or 10 thousand.

I know there are books out there that can help you plan a wedding for $10,000 just like there are magazines that  have articles on the same.  They tell you to cut the guest list, be realistic about expectations and prioritize what you want to spend money on and then adjust accordingly.  So my list of priorities are reception, photography, dress and the groom's wedding ring.  I've decided to try to have a stress free wedding.  I'm not going to sweat the details. Seating charts forget about um, you'll all adults you can seat yourselves.  The wedding cake or cup cakes may be a DIY creation the doubles as a Favor.  Another favor idea is welcome bags, this way I can create one per group/couple versus one per individual.

 The ceremony is planned for a church that his family goes to and with his dad performing the ceremony we will most likely get it for free or next to nothing.  We are looking for a unique location for the reception a bowling ally, a favorite place, or a ballroom with little decoration needed. The less we have to spend on decor the more we have for other things.  This goes along with not worrying about the little details.  When I look into a venue I looked at what is included for the cost and how much we could enjoy the location.  I want a place that will be cool for photos but isn't like everyone else's wedding.

When we first got engaged I looked at various wedding supply sites and wedding shops though bridal sites thinking, "oh wouldn't it be cool if we gave everyone a bottle of wine with a stopper and glasses in the welcome bags" and 'everyone is coming to Vegas so what if we had personalized poker chips, decks of cards and the rules to Blackjack and poker."  I was falling for all these different details that I started trying to figure out how to make it affordable.  The more I think about the style of my wedding the more I can fine tune the details.   I want a simple yet elegant ceremony with a fun, relaxed reception.

The one thing that will help me with my budget is that I've talked with my parents about what they are willing to help pay for or if they will help pay for anything.  I know tradition states that the bride's parents pay for the wedding but I know that isn't a realistic expectation.  However, it is realistic to think that they could pay for my dress and the photographer (two things that are very important to me).  This leaves the biggest cost, the reception, to my fiancée and I.  On thing I would love to do, cost permitting, is to have a Candy Bar with jars of various candies that we like.  A mix of sweet, sour and chocolate.

So fingers crossed we will have the wedding of our dreams on a cost that isn't too crazy.

Dresses

The wonderful world of wedding dresses can be overwhelming.  (It's overwhelming to me and I haven't even started the search.)  Just like many other brides I immediately wanted to start searching for my dress as soon as I go engaged.  I soon realized there are a few important aspects of the wedding that needed to be considered before I started dress shopping.  I needed to know when I was getting married (or at least the time of year); where we envisioned the wedding taking place, how I envisioned myself looking and feeling; and the feel of my wedding day.  Do I want the traditional church ceremony followed by a reception in an ballroom? or Do I want to have a fun wedding that lacks tradition and is all about us?  Or do I simply want to elope?

I could immediately rule out elopement (our parents would kill us).  I could also rule out the fairy tale.  It isn't in the budget and I'm not a princess.  It's important to my fiancée that we get married in the church (it doesn't make a big difference to me but I want him involved and it's our day not just mine) and it's important to me that we have pictures and some kind of a reception afterward.  So here I am looking for dresses I like, that I think will look good on me, that I can afford to buy and that will fit my wedding.  Because we all know you can't wear a ballgown to the beach and a short gown in the winter.

I'm 95% sure that I want a fit and flare gown that is slightly A-line.  I'm not interested in the full ballgown skirt because I think it will get in the way. The pictures above are my two favorite dresses {which can be found at David's Bridal}(I know it looks like 3-4 but the two on the left are one dress and the two on the right are different views of the same dress).  I want something that will be elegant for the ceremony that is still fun for the reception.  I've seen both dresses in person and they are amazing.  The dress on the left reminds me of the Amsale Tyler gown featured in When in Rome (See picture at right) .  I would probably add a sash to the dress to make it look similar and to hide the spot in the back where the skirts overlap.  The dress on the right is the perfect mix of elegant and casual.  I love the 3-D floral detail on the skirt and the simplicity of the gown.  There are a few other dresses that I've seen that I like.  A few or actually bridesmaids dresses that come in Ivory (which means low cost and less wait time for the dress).    What it comes down to is how I feel and look in the dress.  I want to feel BEAUTIFUL and like I'm the only women in the world.  I want to put on the dress and KNOW that it is MY dress and it perfect for my wedding.  This dress will be in pictures for the rest of my life so it has to look good and make me feel good so that I look good in it.

So I'm taking a poll: Which dress do you like better and why? The two in one dress (left side of the photo) or the fit and flare with 3-D floral.  (both dresses are from Davids Bridal btw.) 

post a comment and let me know what you think.  

The plan so far... (its all subject to change)

So here is the plan thus far.    We are considering having a later afternoon ceremony with a cocktail reception.  The Wedding Colors are Midnight Blue and Purple. The Wedding Party will be made up of 3-4 bridesmaids and 3-4 Groomsman.  We are having a church ceremony performed by his dad. The reception will either be traditional (country club) or unique (bowling alley).   The flowers will be different depending on the person. As the bride I want a pop of color against my dress.  The bridesmaids may have the same flowers just in their own arraignments.   I like the idea of orange roses as a pop against my ivory/white dress, the Bridesmaid's purple gowns, and the Groomsman's navy suits. I may also decided to use blue and purple hydrangeas.

Musical Selections include:
  - Nothing Else Matters (instrumental) by Metallica
  - Canon in D Major
  - Can't take my eyes off you by The Jersey Boys
 - Then by Brad Paisley
 -  My Little Girl by Tim McGraw
 -  Cha Cha Slide
 - Cupid Shuffle
 -  Old time Rock and Roll by Bob Segar